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Rant Archive - February 2006
February 27, 2006 - AN AMERICAN ICON
PASSES
 On
Friday, February 24, 2006 we lost a true American icon when Don Knotts died
of pulmonary and respiratory complications at the age of eighty-one. To most
people, Don Knotts will always be remembered as the bumbling deputy Barney
Fife on the Andy Griffith Show, a role that earned him five Emmy Awards and
the adoration of fans world-wide. But what a lot of people don't realize
is that his amazing career included seven TV series and more than twenty-five
films. Still, it is the The Andy Griffith Show that did and continues to
cement Mr. Knotts as one of the best comedic actors in history. One of my
all-time favorite shows, I think I've probably seen every episode several
times but as a motorcyclist, one in particular stands out. "Barney's Side
Car" (episode #111) first aired on January 27, 1964. In this episode Barney
is overly concerned about the speeding in Mayberry and the fact that the
police force only has one patrol car. To improve efficiency, Barney attends
a police auction and comes back with a vintage WW-I motorcycle and sidedcar.
It doesn't take long before he is motoring all over town issuing tickets
for the slightest infractions and in the process driving everyone crazy.
In the end Andy finally convinces Barney to give up the motorcycle and we
never see it again. Knott's as usual is absolutely hilarious throughout this
classic episode with motorcycle ties and it is worth buying the 1964 season
set (available on DVD) just for this one episode. I had the privilege of
meeting Mr. Knotts a few years ago at an awards show. It was a complete honor
for me and I remember thinking that he looked very tired as I shook his hand.
The interesting thing was that when he hit the stage later that night he
instantly seemed to have the same energy he had in the early 1960s. Obviously
this man was born to entertain us... and that he did. Don Knotts was a true
American icon and will be missed.
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February 25, 2006 - MADKAW PART
SIX
Despite the cool temperatures outside, I was able
to get a little more done on the project bike Friday night and Saturday.
For starters I installed the new clutch cable. Wow... what a difference it
made! The clutch operation is now silky smooth without a glitch. But the
main task completed was the seat mod. I took the old stock seat, cut it down
and recovered it in red naugahyde. The results are OK but not great... I
think it will work though and the good thing is that the seat cost me notta!
(As in not a thing.) I also got the rear wheel painted and the exhaust back
on. All in all a pretty productive weekend.
CLICK HERE to see
pictures of the latest progress.
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February 20, 2006 - SUPERCROSS THE MOVIE
- A REVIEW
 I
admit that I find myself immediately skeptical anytime Hollywood tries to
pitch a motorcycle themed movie. I mean let's face it; the ones released
in the past ten years have been mediocre at best so frankly I don't hold
out much hope for a good motorcycle movie to come along anytime soon.
(Unfortunately The Worlds Fastest Indian was not released in my area so I
can't comment on it.) Regardless, when I saw the trailer for Twentieth Century
Fox's "Supercross the Movie" I thought I would give it a shot. I don't remember
this movie ever being at the theatre (a bad sign already) but with the DVD
having been released on January 31st and my wife scheduled to be out of town
for the weekend, it was the perfect opportunity for me to check it out.
Directed by Steve Boyum (a stunt man turned director)
with a screenplay by virtual unknowns Ken Solarz and Bart Baker, the story
follows two brothers, K.C. Carlyle played by Steve Howey (Reba 2001 TV Series)
and Trip Carlyle played by Mike Vogel (Havoc 2005, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2003) as they try to overcome the emotional obstacles of losing their father
to become champions in the world of Supercross racing. The brothers couldn't
be more opposite with K.C. being the more mature, level headed one and Trip
the "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" type. Both brothers of course are
undiscovered world-class riders and peak the interest of an up and coming
Japanese manufacturer. But when they meet to discuss plans, Trip gets in
a fistfight with the teams star rider and K.C gets the sponsorship. As the
story plays out, K.C. becomes more and more dissatisfied with his factory
ride realizing that his role will forever be to block for the star rider
while Trip struggles and claws to make it as a privateer; a rider without
sponsorship. Eventually they both make it to a Supercross race with drastic
consequences. Trip crashes and suffers possible career ending injuries and
K.C. is fired from his factory ride for riding to win and not to block for
the teams star rider. As I'm sure you can guess, K.C. takes Trip's place
on the independent ride and with his brothers encouragement goes on to win
the Supercorss finals in Vegas, beating his former factory team.
On a positive note, the movie does have some pretty
good Supercross action shots and the plot has some potential. Unfortunately,
the movie seems to fall short of what it could have been. The editing is
what I would call "jumpy" with scenes that seem to randomly pop up on your
screen without much cohesiveness. Some of the story line is a bit
 "out there" too.
For example, one bar scene shows a group of rough neck bikers hanging with
the motocross crowd. Last I checked I don't think these two groups had much
in common. And then there is the scene where Trip and his girlfriend Piper
Cole played by Camerone Richardson are working on his bike. For no apparent
reason, Piper rips off her shirt and starts making out with Trip. Granted
this is probably an adolescent males dream come true (motorcycles and a cute
naked girl) but where the heck did that come from? It made no sense, was
completely irrelevant to the plot and seemed completely inappropriate for
a movie rated PG-13. But perhaps my biggest beef with the movie is the sound
effects. Apparently nobody did any research on what a motocross bike sounds
like because what you hear more resembles lower intestine hunger growls than
dirtbikes.
All in all Supercross the Movie lives up to my
preconceived ideas that Hollywood can't make a decent motorcycle movie. It's
not so great… but then again it is a movie with motorcycles in it so
it has that going for it. On a scale of 1 to 5, I'd have to give it a 2.
It's not going to win any awards but since it does have motorcycles in it,
it's worth a weeknight when you have nothing else to do.
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February 19, 2006 - MAD KAW PART
FIVE
 This weekend brought the biggest snow of the year to
Middle Tennessee! Mind you it was just a couple of inches but a couple of
inches is a lot to us! We're just not used to it. And the worst part of it
is that the temperatures have stayed cold (high in the 20's today) so the
snow and ice is hanging around. The good news is that we did have a few days
of pretty warm weather in the 50's earlier in the week so MAD KAW moved forward
a bit. The front wheel and tire are now mounted, the tank is painted and
back on, the side covers are painted and even the exhaust is near completion.
All that's really left is to paint the rear wheel, install the rear whitewall
and figure out what I want to do for a seat. Hopefully it will run when all
this is done!
CLICK HERE NOW
to check out pictures of the latest progress.
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February 16, 2006 - MS. BIMBO COULD
TAKE A FEW POINTERS FROM MR. CARRYOUT
Remember the good old days when business owners
treated their customers as if they were... well, uh... customers! They would
bend over backwards to keep their customers happy in an effort to develop
long term relationships of repeat business. Well I don't know what happened,
but somewhere along the way a lot of buisnesses decided that if you don't
buy it, someone else will... so screw customer service! Take my experience
today for example. I decided to run over to the local metric motorcycle dealer
in Nashville (trying really hard not to name them by name here) just to have
a look around on my lunch break. I rarely frequent this store but since it
is close to my office I thought it would be fun to check it out. When I first
walked in there were four people standing at the door. Not one of them even
said hello as I squeezed past them and while I walked around the showroom
I listened as they argued about where to get lunch. Not a big deal right,
but what happened next floored me. I walked back passed the group and one
made a comment about the jacket I was wearing. I smiled and walked on and
just as I got down the isle I heard the bimbo blonde with the loudest mouth
say under her breath... "well aren't we Mr personality." I was so stunned
I just turned around and stared at her as she turned four shades of red.
Obviously a little surprised that I had heard her rude comment, she was suddenly
all jokes and smiles and very interested if I were finding everything I needed.
I let her know that if I needed help it wouldn't be from her and then watched
her and her buddies scatter like flies! Now I realize that one poor salesperson
does not make the whole store but one does make a lasting impression. I spend
my money very carefully and I can tell you it will be a cold day in hell
before I ever buy anything at that store... but then again, I doubt they
really care.
Oh yeah..as an ironic footnote, tonight I picked
up take-out Chinese for the wife and I. As I was checking out, the owner
told me he was sorry I had to wait an extra couple of minutes and for my
trouble had added a couple egg rolls to my order at no charge. Wow, customer
service does exist somewhere... it's at the Chinese take-out place! Ms. Bimbo
could take a few pointers from Mr. Carryout!
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February 14, 2006 - AMERICA IS APPARENTLY
STILL INFATUATED WITH THE MOTORCYCLE
I've been experiencing a phenomenon of sorts lately.
I've had similar experiences in the past mind you but never with the amount
of frequency that I've experienced in recent weeks. In fact, it's become
so common that I now find myself expecting it to happen even before it does.
Yes, I am definitely seeing a trend here where literally on a weekly basis
I have people approaching me to tell me of their plans to start riding…
either for the first time in a long time or for the first time
ever.
For months now I have been telling myself that
the motorcycle hype has surely peaked and will start to level off… but
from what I am seeing this off-season, it appears the craze is stronger than
ever with new riders popping up everywhere. America is apparently still
infatuated with the motorcycle and to be honest with you, I have mixed feelings
about it.
On one hand, I think it is positive. For example
the influx of capitol is good for the overall development of the industry.
More money should translate into better-engineered and designed products,
which mean safer products. I also think that the increase in riders gives
us a stronger political voice when lobbying for important issues like stiffer
penalties against negligent vehicle operators that hurt riders and "stop-look-go"
laws that allow a motorcyclist to proceed when safe at traffic lights that
won't trip. And, if more people ride, it might just make the general public
more aware that they are sharing the streets with us.
On the other hand I do have some concerns. One
for sure is the inexperience of the new fold. It used to be that you learned
to ride as a kid in your back yard with dad watching. It was a controlled
environment where you couldn't hurt yourself too bad and then when you were
ready you progressed to a small street bike and on up the motorcycle food
chain. But, today we have a bunch of middle-aged people with no experience
and expendable income buying bikes they can't handle and trying to learn
to ride them in the most dangerous environment there is… the urban streets
of America.
But more than the inexperience, I really worry
about some of the attitudes I've seen. There seems to be a general lack of
respect for the "machine" among these people. I make a point to ask anybody
who tells me they are getting a bike if they plan to take a Riders Course.
The answers have ranged from, "No, I used to ride dirtbikes when I was a
kid" to "What's a Riders Course" to "Man, I don't need that." It's almost
as if they compare operating a motorcycle to shooting pool or playing ping-pong
or some other less than dangerous sport. Somewhere along the line, American
Chopper has convinced these people that all they have to do is buy it, get
on it, and go. Unfortunately, I think where some of them may be going is
straight to the hospital!
I read somewhere recently that a dealer in Oklahoma
was throwing in a "free" Rider Safety Program course with each new bike purchase.
Honda also recently announced their plans to have PC based simulators at
all of their dealers in the US. These things will help at the dealer level
but I think we as experienced riders can help as well. When someone mentions
to you that they are starting to ride, give them more than the usual nod
and smile. Take the time to listen and when the opportunity presents itself,
offer some sound advice. Tell them there is a learning curve. Share your
own experiences. Suggest a good safety course in your area. Take them on
a ride with you so they can see first hand how to safely operate a motorcycle.
Some of us have a lot of knowledge that needs to be passed on. I know that
there are those that are going to do what they want, how they want, when
they want but there are others that will take the time to listen and appreciate
some words of wisdom from a veteran rider. Take those opportunities and let's
all do what we can to help keep motorcycling as safe as
possible.
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February 13, 2006 - YOU MIGHT JUST BE
A CERTIFIED BIKE NUT IF . . .
It amazes me to think that there are actually people
out there that care to read what I write about motorcycles. I'm just a normal
guy that loves motorcycles and loves to write about them but each month I
continue to see significant increases in traffic at BikerSwag.com. A writer
without readers is like a chef with no dining guests. So thank you! As long
as you keep reading, I'll keep cooking up this stuff.
Recently, I've been getting a lot of FEEDBACK in
regards to the tag line located at the top of this page. It's the one that
proclaims me to be "a certified bike nut". A lot of people want to know if
they qualify for the title as well or what they have to do to become certified.
Well… it's not exactly a scientific process but I've come up with a
few examples that will give you a good indication as to your status. You'll
have to make the final judgment for yourself but…
You just might be a "certified bike nut"
if…
- You wipe down and cover your bike after each
ride but your car hasn't been washed in six months.
- $500 for your wife's antique table was outrageous
but $2000 for a basket-case Sporty was a great deal!
- You think it's outrageous that a quart of oil
for the car costs $2 but $5 for a quart for your bike seems
OK.
- You consider Michelle Smith to be a legitimate
journalist.
- You think it a total waste to drive past the
local shop without stopping in.
- You're stunned to discover that when your neighbor
talks about bobbers, he's referring to a fishing item.
- In your mind the term Old School has nothing
to do with where someone went to third grade
- You know what a RUB is.
- You feel compelled to waive at bikers in traffic
when you are in your truck.
- You think you're still young enough to get another
dirtbike.
- You measure all road trips in 120-mile
increments.
- You've cleaned dead bugs off of a leather jacket
more times than you can remember.
- Chrome has become hypnotic.
- A Knucklehead is not the goofball kid next
door.
- You know when the National Ride Your Motorcycle
to Work day is.
- You spend more time on-line reading motorcycle
blogs than conversing with real people!
- You write a biker blog thinking that there really
are more than 2 people reading it!
- Weather.com is at the top of your favorites
list.
- You think cursing is wrong but flying the bird
at a motorist that cuts you off on the bike might be
acceptable
- You know who the fictitious character James Bronson
is.
- You know which casino in Vegas has a huge fountain
in the front.
- You think Arlen is actually a cool
name.
- You're still mad at the American Machine and
Foundry. (AMF)
- You can't understand why the whole family thinks
Chopper is a bad name for the new
Chihuahua.
- Since you couldn't name the new Chihuahua Chopper,
you thought you'd at least dress the little gal correctly!
And finally...
- All your conversations, no matter how significant,
eventually turn back to motorcycles if given enough time!
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February 2, 2006 - IT'S JUST LIKE
CHRISTMAS
 One
of the best things about customizing a bike is getting all the cool parts
in the mail. You spend the whole day at work dealing with the BS office politics,
fight your way through traffic for an hour to get back home and just when
you start to think something's gotta give you walk in the house and spot
that brown UPS box or red, white and blue USPS Priority Mail package sitting
on the counter. Suddenly you could give a rats behind about work or traffic
or anything else because you just got a new part! Even though you knew it
was coming, it's just like Christmas when you were a kid. Well, Santa was
good to me today. Last week I ordered 4 Pod filters for the Mad Kaw and today
was the day they surprised me. I got them from BikeBandit.com and they look
great. I can't wait to get them installed. My wife laughs at how excited
I get when I get parts like this but she's not seen anything yet. Tomorrow
my new Maxxis Classic Whitewall tires are supposed to be in!
WoooHooo!!!!!
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February 1, 2006 - THE SPORTSTER AND
THE 747
Ever wonder what your bike would look like next
to a 747? Here's my Sportster next to one... and no, this is not a Photoshop
trick.
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